Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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