Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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