some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize