Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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