seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
