I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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