"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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