I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
