still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize