dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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