Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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