I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
