8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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