Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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