I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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