I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
