just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
