I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
