Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
