this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
