I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
So. Much. Porn.
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