kristin has been a bad kristin
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
