Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
