shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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