Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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