i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
