i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize