Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
