Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
