i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
