If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
