I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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