What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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