Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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