Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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