Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
