Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize