I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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