Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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