This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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