So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
