i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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