**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
