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"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
