pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize