She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
