Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is Oprah even human
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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