Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize