I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
