Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
