if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
