She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
