I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
