Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
