I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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