I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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