Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
