Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
