So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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