Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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