We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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