Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
