he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
