I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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