You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
