are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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