I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
