Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
this beer tastes like vomit already
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
