hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize