Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
