He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
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