Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
