I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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