Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
