yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
