The brown eye won't let me do that either.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
