I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
