Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
