no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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